Every year as advertisements hurtle us all into the “holiday spirit,” I’m painfully reminded of one of my greatest frustrations, one that easily overshadows even my bulging file of short story rejections:
Flavored Vodka
How did I miss that one? And not just me, but my brother as well—we were particularly well positioned to get ahead of this trend. He’d introduced me to the sweet joy of the Sloe Gin Fizz (among other things) by my 15th birthday and I did not require adulthood to understand that “The Light at the End of the Tunnel is Spelled: V-O-D-K-A”!
Right now (and I mean RIGHT this moment!) there are ads on TV for Smirnoff Whipped Cream flavored vodka—that’s how far it’s gone, way past Orange, Raspberry, and the ever-popular Citron. Yet, I think there are still a few flavors yet to be mastered:
Gin & Tonic Vodka
Rum & Coke Vodka (Jack & Coke as well)
Maybe even Scotch & Soda Vodka!
Okay, I admit those might be a stretch, but you mark my words, if “Whipped Cream” Vodka sells, then it won’t be long before we see Apple Pie Vodka (hell, add Blueberry and Pumpkin Pie Vodka as well), and, for the Reddi-Wip crowd—Nitrous Oxide Vodka!
Oh, the frustration…I’m SO thirsty…how about WATER flavored vodka…
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